Sunrise No. 156 of 1,600+
- Sunrise time: 5:58
- Azimuth: 55° ⇡
- Did the sun rise: Yes
- Was the sun visible: AH HA HA!
- Felt like: 44 ºF
- Humidity: 91%
- Wind: 1 mph ⇡
- Wind gust: 6 mph
- 8 sec
Little Presque Isle, Marquette, MI
7.1 mile commute
📍 46° 38' 8" N, -87° 28' 2" W
Musings [439 words]
There’s something else this project is about, vulnerability. Not of my journal and putting my thoughts into the world, I don’t worry much about that. The most vulnerability lies within my photos into the world. I’ve had a camera around my neck for a large portion of the last twenty years. However, anytime around another photographer and see their work I feel like garbage, feeling they’re endlessly better than I’ve ever been. During this project I’ve happily welcomed anyone who wants to join me, except photographers. Sure I showed them the same enthusiasm and welcomeness, but in the end I weaseled my way out of it because I was nervous how they’d see me use my camera, that’d I’d be doing something wrong, that they would end up with photos significantly better than any of my snapshots.
When I arrived to MSU as a freshman so many years ago, I did feel confident. I think part it’s because I didn’t know many photographers. Eventually I would work for the yearbook, the Red Cedar Log, where eventually I became photo editor of the largest published college yearbook in the country. The thing is massive. I also went on a study abroad photography program. Through much of that I felt pretty good. And then I applied for the State News, the daily newspaper which has won best college newspaper in the country many times over. It didn’t go anywhere, and I marveled at the photos being published.
What inhibited me more than anything else was the requirement to approach people in photojournalism. It was a field I heavily wanted to go into, but I just could not approach people for the life of me. To this day it still gives me a tremendous amount of anxiety. If someone approaches me, for the most part, I feel absolutely fine. So in the end, photography always became a very private and personal endeavor. The more people who are around, the less likely I am to even touch my camera.
Perhaps during a project like this, it’s not that an individual photo has value, but because it’s part of a grueling series requiring a tremendous amount of commitment. I think there’s a tiny thing in the back in my head, that if I go bigger, I can add more value to something. At this point I’m just winging it, and at the end of the day photography has always been for me and not for anyone else. But I’m finding a way to package in that allows me to share more. Maybe I’ll say yes to another photographer asking to join me this week.